Easing Your Children into Your New Home and Neighborhood

Relocating to a new home is an exciting time, but it can be especially traumatic for children. Moving to a new place is particularly difficult for children, because they don't always have the strategies to handle new situations that adults have.  Twenty percent of all American families move to a new home each year, and it is important to help children adjust to their new living environment.  Uncertainty, frustration, and anger are common feelings for children before, during, and after a move.  Here are several ways to help ease the transition for your children as your family prepares to move:

• Tell your children about the move early.
  • Allow your children plenty of time to accept the fact that your family is moving.  It will probably take some time for them to understand and come to terms with a move.  Be understanding of their feelings and remain positive.  In the beginning, your children will likely show signs of anger or depression.  Don’t panic!  This behavior is normal.  When children have time to prepare mentally for a move, the transition will go more smoothly.
• Help them see the benefits to the family.
  • Your children may show disappointment or sadness when they first learn of your plans to move.  Be prepared to explain why the move is beneficial to your family’s unique situation.  Empathize with their doubts and negative feelings, but respond to them with positive comments.  Explain how the family members’ lives are going to be better because of the move.
• Take them to visit the new home and neighborhood often.
  • Get your children accustomed to the sights and sounds that will soon be part of their daily lives.  The more you visit the area before the move, the easier it will be for children to feel comfortable there.  Drive through the neighborhood, pointing out all the exciting and wonderful things you notice.  Your enthusiasm will be contagious, and soon your children will be looking forward to the move as much as you are!
• Make a list of things they can do in the new area (parks, mall, new school, new friends, walking trails, community pool, etc.).
  • Come up with as many activities as possible that will be available in the new neighborhood.  Let them know how exciting life will be in the new home.  Help them to see that they won’t be losing their old friends, just adding new ones.  Be ready to explore the things on your list with your children. Use this time as family-bonding experience.  Have family members help each other through a somewhat difficult time.
• If the builder holds a “Meet-Your-Neighbors Party,” be sure to bring your children!
  • Builders are interested in creating communities that exist in harmony, and they will arrange appropriate activities to help neighbors get to know each other.  Be open to attending parties and social events and bring the children.  Often, children are better at meeting new people and making friends than adults.  They may introduce you to some new people!

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